Asking for Help

One of the most difficult things for a lot of us to do is to actually reach out to another human being and not only tell them we're in need -- no, we don't have it all perfectly together, yes, we are fallible -- but also to ask them to do something about it to help. In essence, calling in some of the credit of the relationship.

I'm not a huge fan of Amanda Palmer -- and yes, some of it is my own personal issues, I know -- but as I get past that, some of her message recently has been resonating, especially in an interview on the very fantastic Brain Pickings site. That message is one of connecting with people and allowing them to help, allowing them to be involved in your life.

That's a message that is tough for me to integrate, but one I will need to integrate to make the things I want to happen happen. I can maybe attribute it to family models, or what I was told, or what I thought I picked up from one too many spy/western/space opera stories, but there's some belief inside me that I have to have the resources from within to finish all of this, well, stuff that's lying dormant waiting to be done, and that I need to do all of that myself.

Which, considering the fact that this method over the past 30 years hasn't yielded all that much, might be more than a little misguided. But that's how psychology and memory work sometimes.

So over the next week, I'll be asking for more help. Some tangible, some specific, some just general. All important and all scary for me -- I'm giving up control. I'm giving up space in my life. I'm giving up on the Lone Ranger approach (hey, wait, even he had help now that I think about it). I'm giving up on it not working this way.

In return, I'm getting back ... well, let's see. Hopefully a lot more ... but whatever it is, it will be different. And that's a start.